What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch. - Lily Tomlin
I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other. - Lily Tomlin
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
We're all in this alone. - Lily Tomlin
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? - Lily Tomlin
Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic? - Lily Tomlin
The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic? - Lily Tomlin
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? - Lily Tomlin
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. - Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Lily Tomlin
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them. - Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up. - Lily Tomlin
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin
The road to success is always under construction - Lily Tomlin
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth. - Lily Tomlin
I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody. - Lily Tomlin
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. - Lily Tomlin
Thank God kids never mean well - Lily Tomlin
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one. - Lily Tomlin
Just remember, we're all in this alone. - Lily Tomlin